


three just isn't a lucky number

by littlekittenhui



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I can't help it y'all I love writing angst, M/M, all about shua!!, back at it with some sad shit, this ends happy though so don't worry too much, this is jisoo centric, which means he's the sad one I'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-09-01 05:17:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20252776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlekittenhui/pseuds/littlekittenhui
Summary: The three of them were together. They were a three for one deal. They belonged together, right?At least, that's what Jisoo felt like he was trying convincing himself.





	1. the beginning

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone~ I'm back at it with the angst, but this time with our beloved 95 line!! I honestly never saw myself a fic that wasn't junhui focused, but I really wanted to write some jihancheol ;-;
> 
> enjoy~

_____________________

It hadn’t always been the three of them.

Jeonghan had come into the company shortly after Jisoo. They two boys had immediately bonded, due to both of them being the same age and struggling with similar things during lessons. They became inseparable; wherever you saw one of them, the other was not far behind. Jeonghan and Jisoo had become a package deal, something Jisoo had grown to be fond of.

Jisoo was used to being left out. He was used to not being the one people wanted; being the one who was left on the sidelines. So, when he and Jeonghan had become a duo of sorts, a pair, he had been overjoyed. He felt safe, cared for. Jeonghan always doted on him, worrying about his foreign friend, and Jisoo loved it. He selfishly hoped that it could always be this way; that he could always keep Jeonghan to himself. That’s when Jisoo acknowledged the fact that he may have a crush on his best friend. He quickly accepted the fact, knowing there wasn’t really anything he could do about it other than bury the feeling and just enjoy Jeonghan’s company. He didn’t want to ruin their relationship; he couldn’t lose the person that had been grounding him and keeping him sane in this foreign country.

Yet, now Jisoo was seriously regretting his decision to keep his feelings to himself. Maybe if he hadn’t, it wouldn’t be the way it was now.

“Hannie! Wanna go out and get some snacks?” Seungcheol called, making Jeonghan pull himself away from his conversation with Jisoo. It had been like this for a while; Seungcheol always pulling Jeonghan away from him. It wasn’t like Jisoo resented Seungcheol or anything. It was actually the opposite. Seungcheol was incredibly sweet and caring towards Jisoo as well, both him and Jeonghan always trying to include Jisoo in their plans. While Jisoo found it sweet, it also broke his heart, as he knew that Seungcheol was asking Jeonghan as a date, and him as a friend. Jisoo knew it was wrong: having a crush on both of your friends. Yet, he couldn’t stop himself from having these feelings for the two slightly older men. Both of them were so addicting, so inviting. It was hard to not love them.

'Yeah sure,” Jeonghan replied, getting up, but reaching a hand out for Jisoo to take, “Shua, come with us? We have something we wanna talk about.” Jeonghan said, a bit nervous. Jisoo could detect the edge in his voice, causing him to be worried. What was Jeonghan so worried about telling him? Were they gonna break it to him that they were dating? Did they think that Jisoo would be upset, or maybe disgusted? Surely they knew that Jisoo would love them no matter what.

‘Yeah, but not in the way they think I would love them.’ He thought humorlessly. Quickly agreeing to joining the pair, Jisoo grabbed a jacket and followed them out the door. As they walked, he noticed a few things; first, Seungcheol and Jeonghan walked extremely close to one another. Second, that they were almost holding hands, but were retraining themselves (‘maybe because I’m here?’ Jisoo wondered). And thirdly, they were whispering to each other. That was new, they usually didn’t bother to keep secrets from Jisoo. They never left him out of conversation when it was just the three of him, so seeing them so lost in their own world stung Jisoo’s heart.

‘Get used to it,” Jisoo snapped at himself, ‘They’re probably about to tell you that they’re dating.’

“Hey, Shua?” Seungcheol started, shaking Jisoo out of his thoughts, “We wanted to tell you something.” Seungcheol said, taking a deep breath. Jisoo looked at him softly, regarding the man he harbored feelings for gently. He watched as Jeonghan nudged him softly, prompting him to continue,

“Jeonghan and I have been dating for a little while. I’m not sure if you caught on or not, but we wanted to tell you.” Seungcheol said, each word piercing Jisoo’s soft heart. Even though he had been preparing himself for this news, he was still caught off guard with how heartbroken he felt. Of course he was happy for his friends, but he couldn’t help but feel jealous that he was being left out. However, the next thing Jeonghan said quickly erased that feeling.

“We love each other Shua-yah, so much, but we also… we also like you so much. We really like you, Jisoo.” Jeonghan breathed out, putting their feelings out between the three of them. All Jisoo could do was stare back at them, wide eyed. He was still processing the information when Seungcheol prompted,

“Jisoo? Are you okay? I know this is probably overwhelming and you’re probably confused, but we couldn’t stop thinking about it. We both like you. What… what are you thinking?” He questioned, causing Jisoo to blink at him before responding,

'I… I like both of you too.” He said breathlessly, admitting his feelings to his two friends. In that moment, Jisoo could see the tension leave Jeonghan and Seungcheol, both of them smiling brightly at Jisoo. Slowly, Jeonghan reached out to hold Jisoo’s hand. Jisoo could feel his heart pounding in his ears, emotions surging through his body. He felt so light, so happy.

“So, does this mean you’ll be our boyfriend too?” Jeonghan asked, squeezing Jisoo’s hand lightly. _How could he say no?_

_____________________

And yet, sometimes, Jisoo felt like he should’ve said no.

“Seungcheollie, can we get ice cream today? I’ve really been craving the place near the park.” Jeonghan whined cutely at his muscular boyfriend, who grinned back at him.

“Sure, Hannie, let me get dressed and we can go, okay?” Seungcheol easily replied, pressing a quick kiss to Jeonghan’s temple. It had been months since Jisoo had been added to their relationship, and yet he still felt like he didn’t have his own place in the trio. He felt left out, forgotten: like an afterthought to his own boyfriends. The two of them had been so loving, so sweet towards him before they started dating, and in the few weeks after they had officially been together.

Yet, now, Jisoo felt like he was invisible to them.

If Jisoo wasn’t the one prompting them, they usually didn’t show him the same love they expressed with each other. While they would give him affection, it felt like he was getting pity affection; like they were regretting their decision in allowing him to join their relationship. They spent so much time alone, despite them not being in the same unit. The pair were inseparable these days, not even allowing Jisoo to split them up. And it hurt. He was supposed to be their boyfriend too; so why did it feel like he was interrupting them when he called for their attention?

“Can… can I come with you guys?” Jisoo asked quietly, looking up at the two who had begun walking towards the door, hand in hand. They looked back at him, watching them register that they had forgotten about their other boyfriend.

“Um, sorry baby, Seungcheol and I have something we need to talk about. Maybe next time, okay? We’ll bring you back your favorite!” Jeonghan said quickly, rushing over to press a kiss to Jisoo’s cheek, as if to placate him. Almost looking annoyed, Seungcheol did the same, muttering a soft “sorry”. All Jisoo could do was look at them in shock, not having expected to get rejected. Sure, they sometimes left him out, but they never rejected him when he outright asked for something.

The duo quickly made their way out of the dorm, leaving Jisoo alone with his thoughts to ponder over. What were they going to discuss without him? Were they finally realizing they didn’t want Jisoo in their relationship? Were they trying to come up with a way to kick Jisoo out of their relationship while also being friendly with one another since they were in the same group? Thoughts like these plagued Jisoo’s mind as he curled up on the couch, clutching a cushion. He was unable to stop thinking about what the pair was going to talk about by themselves and what they weren’t telling him.

‘They’re going to leave me.’ Jisoo thought, miserably. Sure, he wasn’t completely satisfied with the relationship, but he cherished it regardless. He loved the two boys with his entire heart, and he didn’t want to lose either of them. They were the first thing to ever he his; they were his first everything. He couldn’t lose them, he couldn’t.

‘I need them.’ Jisoo thought numbly, falling into a restless slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this might feel incomplete, but I thought this would be an okay to stop writing for today (plus it's getting late and I need to wake up early tomorrow ;-;) let me know if you guys even like this and it's worth continuing lol  
I'm sorry for the angst, I promise I won't end this sadly!! I hate sad endings, so don't worry ^-^  
also, I haven't abandoned my 96 line fic, I will be continuing that as well, I'm just going to be writing both :D whichever I get inspiration for first will be updated first lol  
anways, please leave me any comments or criticisms you have of this!! I'm always very appreciative to know your opinions about my writing ^-^
> 
> twt: littlekittenhui


	2. a dirty secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It haunted him, even in his sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with a new chapter~ I know a lot of you are sad about seungcheol and jeonghan's treatment of jisoo, and uh, it's not gonna get better for a little while unfortunately ;-; but I do promise a happy ending!! 
> 
> also you might notice that I made a decision on how many chapters this fic will have; the number of chapters is tentative, it's not set in stone, but I think it'll be right around 5 chapters, so look forward to that~
> 
> anyways, please enjoy~

_________________________

It haunted him, even in his sleep.

Jisoo’s insecurities had manifested into his dreams and left him tossing and turning on the couch, desperately trying to get comfortable, but to no avail. He tried to chase away the creeping uncomfortable feeling he was getting, but with his anxieties swirling around in his mind, it made it impossible for him to sleep peacefully. All he could think about was what his boyfriends were doing without him. Were they talking about him? Trying to figure out how to end their relationship with him, while continuing theirs? Were they merely complaining about him?

Jisoo hadn’t always been so insecure; he actually used to very open and free-spirited. He had only changed when he had come to Korea, a completely new and different environment than the one he had grown up in. He had been reserved at the beginning, due to not being able to fully communicate with the others, despite speaking Korean at home with his family. However, he was able to revert back to his normal self within a few weeks of being in Korea.

The issue started when debuted.

After debut, Jisoo had developed an image in the eyes of the fans: Seventeen’s ‘gentleman’. Their fans had thought he was so proper, so kind and gentle. Their fans had fell in love with the image he developed and it became his title in the group. Jisoo couldn’t do anything that conflicted with said image; he didn’t want to make the fans dislike him or question whether or not they were actually interested in Seventeen if he didn’t keep his image up. He needed to keep acting like the ‘gentleman’, no matter what. Even if he really wanted to partake in Seungkwan and Seokmin’s antics, or joke around with Mingyu and Vernon, he decided to refrain. He wanted to keep the perfect image that the fans had of him. It wasn’t what caused his insecurities though.

It was the fan’s obsession with the ‘Jeongcheol’ ship.

Everyone who looked at Seventeen could tell that Seungcheol was the alpha-male of the group. He was their leader; he commanded them all and kept them in order, yet he was also kind and caring towards them, always making sure that the younger ones were taken care of. He was the perfect image of a father in the fan’s mind. And Jeonghan, who looked after everyone carefully, making sure they were awake on time, eating their meals, talking to them and asking them how they were feeling, fit the role as their ‘mother’ easily. Jeonghan’s nurturing instincts granted him the title from the fans, despite his hesitance hearing the title. And of course, with a mother and father of the group, the fans were bound to eat that up, right?

The obsession with their relationship started out small; some fans noticing how close Seungcheol and Jeonghan were with each other. It only made sense, as they were the same age and they both looked after the group as the eldest two members. However, once Jeonghan noticed that fans thought the pairing was cute, he decided to play up the skinship, constantly teasing and touching Seungcheol, who usually went along and chuckled at his lover’s playfulness. Their natural chemistry and the fact that they were already dating made their fanservice even better, causing their fans to go wild. ‘Jeongcheol’ became one of the most popular ships in their fandom, many adoring the pairing, including Seungcheol and Jeonghan, who were happy to get away with acting more like a couple in public. It only made the pair get closer to each other, to actually be able to act like a normal couple in the public eye and for it to be only seen as fanservice.

But where did that leave Jisoo?

Whenever Seungcheol and Jeonghan were clinging to each other, lost in their own world, Jisoo could only watch with veiled envy. Watching his lovers be so open, so loving towards each other made his heart ache in the most guilty way. He knew he should be happy for them; this was a dream come true. Shouldn’t he be happy that they could be so free, so open? It was unheard of for idols to be so open about their relationships, much less a same-sex one. Jisoo knew he shouldn’t take it so personally. After all, it wasn’t his fault that he wasn’t a part of their ship. He just didn’t fit the images that the fans liked for their shipping purposes.

Jeonghan was so delicate, so beautiful. He knew how much Jeonghan hated being described so girly, but he couldn’t see what was so bad about it; it meant that he could be by Seungcheol’s side. Because Seungcheol radiated manly energy. Seungcheol was the typical manly-man, so commanding and intimidating and everything that made girls swoon. It was natural for them to be paired together. It wasn’t their fault that Jisoo wasn’t delicate enough, or pretty enough to be with Seungcheol, or manly or tough enough to with with Jeonghan. He just didn’t fit with either of them in the fans eyes.

But that was okay, because he fit with them in their private lives, didn’t he? At least, that’s what he had thought, though now he was having serious doubts.

Somewhere in Jisoo’s inner turmoil, he had managed to fall asleep, though a fitful sleep. He woke up some time later, during the evening. He rose from the couch, blearily blinking around to get a grip on his bearings. He silently wondered if his boyfriends were back from their datetheir date without _him_or not. Slowly, Jisoo made his way into the kitchen, having not eaten dinner before he had fallen asleep. Trudging in, he noticed Mingyu by the stove, cooking something.

“Ah hyung, you woke up? Are you hungry?” Mingyu asked, looking at him with sparkling eyes. Mingyu was so cute, so eager to please, like a little puppy. Chuckling to himself about his cute dongsaeng, Jisoo made his way in front of Mingyu, reaching up to ruffle his hair.

“Kind of, what are you making, Gyu?” Jisoo asked, messing up Mingyu’s hair, making Mingyu whine and him smile.

“Kimchi stew! I thought it would be nice if we all ate together tonight! Or I mean, as many of us as we can, since everyone’s out doing their own thing…” Mingyu trailed off, chuckling shyly and scratching the back of his neck. Seeing his dongsaeng acting so shy, Jisoo couldn’t help but coo at the younger acting so cute.

“Ah, you want us to eat together like a family? How sweet~” Jisoo cooed, making Mingyu blush, “I’m sure the members will be crowding in here soon. They’ll all be happy to eat with you, Gyu. And I’ll definitely be joining you.” Jisoo said gently, trying to reassure the younger. Mingyu grinned, happily, remarking,

“Well if Shua-hyung is gonna eat with me, then I don’t need anyone else to come~ All I need is hyung~” He singsonged, making Jisoo giggle at him. It felt nice to be appreciated and loved by the younger, no matter now innocent it was. Jisoo happily accepted Mingyu’s adorable antics, playing along with his puppy-like friend. The two stood in the kitchen, joking with each other as they finished making the kimchi stew and setting the table. Mingyu quickly took a picture of the meal, sending it to their group chat and telling the members that their was dinner waiting for them if they wanted it. Almost instantly, their phones buzzed with replies from the members praising him and telling they would be home soon to eat.

“We can eat first, hyung. I know you’re hungry, and the others probably won’t be able to get home so quickly.” Mingyu said, reaching for the plate in front of Jisoo to serve him. Mingyu quickly served his hyung, giving him a generous serving of food, making sure he got a lot of meat and kimchi. Jisoo couldn’t help but melt at dongsaeng’s gesture. His caring and sweet nature filled Jisoo with a warmth he hadn’t felt in a while. Although he knew it was innocent, and he would never think of Mingyu in that way, it felt nice to be taken care of and looked after. Being around Mingyu made him feel, in short, nice.

“Thanks, Gyu,” Jisoo said, smiling up at the taller boy, “You’re so thoughtful and sweet. You’re such a catch~” He joked, causing Mingyu to blush and furiously wave his hands in front of his reddening face.

“What are you saying, hyung! What does that even mean…” He exclaimed, frantically hiding his face, which only caused Jisoo to coo more at the cute boy in front of him, adding,

“I mean, you’re so perfect, Mingyu~ You can cook, rap, dance, act, do housework, you’re handsome, tall, cool, you’re the ideal husband~ Anyone would fall for you~” Jisoo teased, laughing at Mingyu’s whine. He couldn’t help but tease the younger, his reactions so cute and pure. Jisoo could tell, despite Mingyu’s protests, he loved the praise. He always had a glow about him once he was praised, eyes shining and imaginary tail wagging happily behind him. It only made the others want to praise him more, adoring how cute their tallest member is.

As Jisoo sat there, eating and joking with Mingyu, he almost forgot about his insecurities and the inner turmoil he was in previously. Talking to the other made him feel at ease. He was about to make another joke when his phone buzzed again, someone else sending a message in their chat. He looked down at his phone, opening the chat to see what was being said. His heart fell to his feet as he saw the picture that Jeonghan had sent to their chat of him and Seungcheol, eating dinner together. Jeonghan had captioned the picture, writing ‘you might be eating with the members, but I’m being treated to meat~’ followed by a dozen hearts and a few messages telling the others to eat well and not to stay out too late.

As Jisoo looked at the message, he couldn’t help but feel hurt. Was he just a ‘member’ now to him? Didn’t they say they were just going to get ice cream together? Had they even thought about Jisoo, waiting for them at home? He couldn’t help but wonder if this was proof that they were done including Jisoo in their relationship; that they were tired of having him around when they were trying to have fun together.

‘Maybe it really is over. Maybe that’s what they were talking about, and now that they’ve sorted it out, they’re celebrating over dinner.’ Jisoo thought miserably. He couldn’t stop thinking negatively about what might be happening without him there. How could they go on a date without him? Even if just for now, wasn’t he their boyfriend too?

“Ah, look at Seungcheol-hyung and Jeonghan-hyung. They’re kinda gross, but they’re really meant for each other, huh?” Mingyu said offhandedly , making a face at his phone but still regarding the picture with some fondness. At the statement, Jisoo’s throat tightened up, not able to respond right away. To give himself a second, he spooned some of stew into his mouth, along with some rice. Although it was delicious, Jisoo couldn’t find it in himself to enjoy it.

“Hyung?” Mingyu questioned, looking at the older with a curious expression. Jisoo quickly realized that he had forgotten to respond to the younger’s previous statement, and quickly put on a fake smile, trying to hide the tightness in his voice while responding,

“Yeah, they really are.” He said numbly.

Oh yeah, he forgot. Not only was he a secret to the public, he was also a secret to their members.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know guys, I KNOW ;-; I'm sad too, this chapter made me really sad to write, and how I ended it hurt me too ;-;  
I promise jisoo will get what he deserves!! I feel you guys, I'm mad at seungcheol and jeonghan too but I promise it'll all be okay in the end!!  
anyways, please leave me any thoughts/criticisms/inquiries you have down below~ it always makes me happy to see how much you guys enjoy (and hate lol) my fics and I wanna know what you think!!  
thank you so much for reading ^-^
> 
> twt: littlekittenhui


	3. in coldness, jealously blooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisoo knew he should’ve said no when they asked. He only had himself to blame for his inability to say no to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with an update!! sorry for it taking so long, this was my first week of classes and it's been a little stressful ;-; despite that, I hope this chapter isn't a disappointment, I don't even know how I feel about it ;<  
I also changed the number of chapters, and may add more if I think it needs it!! I keep stretching out the story, so as of now, I'm unsure as to exactly how long this fic will be ;-; 
> 
> anyways, please enjoy~

______________________

Jisoo knew he should’ve said no when they asked. He only had himself to blame for his inability to say no to them.

“I know we’re asking for too much, Shua-yah. I know. I’m so sorry, baby.” Jeonghan said softly, cupping one of Jisoo’s cheeks. Jisoo leaned into the touch, trying to focus on Jeonghan’s affection rather than the harsh words he was hearing. Jisoo was unsure of what to make of the request; how does a person react to their boyfriends wanting to keep their relationship a secret from their close friends?

“I’m sorry we’re asking you this Joshua. It’s not fair of us to ask you to not tell the members. We just...” Seungcheol began, looking at Jisoo carefully as if he would break at any moment, “We think it’s for the best, for all of us. We don’t want the boys looking at you weirdly or wondering if you did something wrong. I don’t want you getting hurt. I don’t want Jeonghan getting hurt either. I feel like this may be the best way to protect both of you.” He finished, reaching out for Jisoo’s hand.

Jisoo accepted the affection from the older, needing an anchor now that he had heard their reasoning. He genuinely didn’t know what to think of their request; why would they think the others would say anything bad? They had all been together for a long time and they were brothers at this point. There was no way they would think differently of them just because they were in an unconventional relationship, right?

Yet, despite believing in his members, Jisoo was unable to rid himself of the thought of the members being disgusted with him for intruding on Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s relationship. Would they think that he forced himself in? That he was trying to break them up? That he was a slut, for wanting both of them? Jisoo tried to reassure himself that that wasn’t the case, that the other members weren’t like that; yet, with Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s questioning, he was unsure.

  
Maybe it was for the best that the others didn’t know. That way, they wouldn’t have to question why they were in such a relationship. It also would keep their relationship private, which could be nice.

‘And this way, I can protect Jeonghan and Seungcheol. I can keep them safe. And they can be just mine.’ Jisoo thought, convincing himself slowly that this was for the best. The members didn’t need to know, right? And so, he agreed.

At times like this though, he was deeply regretting his decision.

Seeing the two on such a public date, enjoying each other’s company without him stung. It pierced a part of his heart that was always tender with insecurity from his relationship. Watching his boyfriends be loving and affectionate towards each other, without him, dug into his self-esteem and made it difficult for Jisoo to see his place in the relationship. He always felt like he didn’t completely belong, that he didn’t match the other two. He desperately wished he could belong with them the way that they belonged with each other.

And he desperately wished that he could belong with them openly, at least in front of their members.

Watching Seungcheol and Jeonghan cuddle on the couch, in their own little world and not being able to join them cut into Jisoo’s heart. Whenever they were together in the dorms, they always had to be careful as to not get found out. He couldn’t be too affectionate with his boyfriends in shared spaces, like the living room or kitchen. The three of them were always sneaking around in the dorms, trying not to get caught. At first, Jisoo thought it was kind of thrilling; he felt like a teenager again, giddy with excitement. However, it became tiresome and upsetting, seeing that Seungcheol and Jeonghan had no trouble being touchy without him. Jisoo wasn’t even allowed to sleep in the room with them usually, seeing as it might be ‘suspicious’. Despite how he felt, Jisoo always went along with the other two, wanting to please them and their whims, ignoring his battered heart and hurt feelings.

But now, it was getting to be too much.

‘I need to talk to them when they get home.’ Jisoo thought, his sadness and insecurity turning into anger. How dare they always leave him out! It wasn’t fair, they asked _him_ to be in their relationship, not the other way around. Jisoo had accepted that he was destined to watch the pair in love when they asked him to join their relationship. But now that he was finally their lover, finally a part of the thing he wanted to be included in so badly, he was being shun. He was being left out of the very thing he had craved for so long, and it wasn’t fair to him. If they were going to have regrets, then why invite him in the first place? Why put him through the emotional labor if they were just going to leave him by himself? Jisoo could only spiral in his thoughts, not noticing the way Mingyu was staring at him across the table.

“Hyung..? Are you alright there?” Mingyu asked carefully, not wanting to startle his American hyung. At the question, Jisoo snapped out of his thoughts to pay attention to the younger member in front of him, who was smiling carefully, but kindly at him, “Do you feel okay, hyung? Do you need some medicine or anything?”

“Ah, I’m fine, Mingyu-yah. Just spaced out is all.” He said as cheerfully as he could, not wanting to alarm the younger. Mingyu was so sweet, always looking out for everyone, even his hyungs. He had such a gentle heart, so caring and loving.

“Are you sure, hyung? Here, let me check your temperature!” Mingyu exclaimed, reaching across the table to press his palm against Jisoo’s forehead. Slightly startled, Jisoo stiffened at the touch, although it was not unwelcome. Jisoo chuckled to himself as Mingyu began fussing over him, worrying that his precious hyung was sick. He couldn’t’t help but think about how cute Mingyu was, and told him so.

“I’m not being cute, hyung, I’m worried about you! You could be sick!” He whined at the elder, causing Jisoo to coo at him. Mingyu only huffed before turning around and mumbling about how rude it was to make fun of someone who was concerned over you. Listening to his little complaints, JIsoo chuckled and tried to reassure Mingyu, saying,

“I promise I’m fine, Mingyu-yah. Nothing’s wrong with me,” Jisoo said gently, ruffling Mingyu’s hair, “You’re so cute though, I can’t help but say it~” He teased, continuing to joke around with the younger. Mingyu only continued to whine, but it was obvious he was enjoying the praise by the redness of his cheeks and ears. At times like these, Jisoo couldn’t help but forget his worries and anxieties. He felt so at peace with the other members, so at ease. He truly could never see any of them rejecting him or his boyfriends because of their relationship. They were a family, and it was wrong for them to distrust each other. Jisoo loved the other members; they were his family, his brothers.

‘I really do love them.’ Jisoo thought, looking at Mingyu with fond eyes. He wasn’t able to stop himself from being sappy and telling the younger, who immediately stopped talking, staring at his hyung with wide eyes, before breaking out into a bright grin and replying,

“I love you too, hyung!” Mingyu shouted, sweeping up the elder in a hug, imaginary tail wagging at the sudden affection. Jisoo could only laugh at Mingyu’s adorable antics, too swept up to notice anything, or anyone, else.

He definitely didn’t notice his boyfriends, staring at them disapprovingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know guys, you have lots of questions, but I promise they'll (hopefully) all be answered shortly ;-; I'm leaving it vague on purpose for suspense and because there's still a few surprises, one of which I'm not sure if anyone has realized yet ^-^  
I feel terrible writing jeonghan and seungcheol this way, but I promise that it's not for no reason ;-;  
please let me know what you think in the comments!! I'm really conflicted about this chapter, I have no idea if you guys will like it or not, so let me know!! I appreciate any and all comments ^-^
> 
> twt: littlekittenhui


	4. glass is fragile, and so is a human heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn’t know how it happened; how it got to this point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone~ I'm back with a new chapter ^-^ I know there's been people waiting for this, so I hope you guys are excited!!  
we've reached the climax of everything y'all, I hope this lives up to the hype ;-; I know everyone's going to go through a few feelings reading this, so be prepared and don't hate me too much ;-;
> 
> please enjoy~

_____________________________

He didn’t know how it happened; how it got to this point.

Jisoo wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

“Jisoo.” Seungcheol said in a stern voice, causing Jisoo to snap his head towards the door, where his boyfriends were staring at him. Both of them had a hard look on their faces, confusing Jisoo greatly. Why did they seem upset? Didn’t they just go on their wonderful date? What caused the sudden mood shift?

‘It’s from seeing you, they’re already annoyed by you and you haven’t said anything,’ The mean voice in Jisoo’s head whispered, causing him to shake his head slightly, ‘Did you forget? They were going to talk about something important. Something important without you. Are you that dumb that you can’t figure out what that means?’ It continued, reminding him of how terrible he had felt earlier. Jisoo tried to snap out of his negative thoughts, trying to reassure himself that he had done nothing wrong. It wasn’t his fault of they were upset. They were the ones leaving him out; if anyone should be upset, it should be him!

“What is it, Cheol?” Jisoo asked, smiling at his boyfriend. He didn’t want to show Seungcheol or Jeonghan that he was hurt by their actions. After all, they should know that something like that would hurt him, shouldn’t they? It only makes sense for him to be upset, they went on a date without him! Deciding he didn’t want to let them see him sad, didn’t want them to think they had affected his mood at all, Jisoo put on his brightest face when talking to his lovers.

“We wanted to talk, if that’s okay,” Jeonghan said, walking forward and grabbing Jisoo by the arm to pull him out of Mingyu’s loose embrace, “It’s kind of important, so we wanna talk privately.” He continued, slightly tugging Jisoo’s arm to separate him from their tallest member.

Feeling defiant all of a sudden, Jisoo shrugged off Jeonghan’s touch, much to the surprise of both Jeonghan and Mingyu. Jisoo decided that he didn’t want to listen to Seungcheol or Jeonghan right now; it wasn’t fair that they’d demanded him whenever they wanted and had all the power in their relationship. Besides, he had been having a nice night with his cute dongsaeng; why was he gonna let Seungcheol and Jeonghan ruin it?

“Sorry, I’m hanging out with Mingyu tonight. Maybe we can talk later? Or some other time.” Jisoo said, making his boyfriends’ eyes widen. Neither of them had expected Jisoo to protest their demands; he was always so sweet and compliant, always doing whatever he was asked to. Jeonghan couldn’t help but wonder why he was acting up all of a sudden, slightly concerned that they had done something to upset the older. However, Seungcheol didn’t seem to share the same sense of concern he did.

“Jisoo, we said it was important. I’m sure Mingyu doesn’t mind giving you to us for a while, right Mingyu?” Seungcheol said in a harsh voice, shocking both Jisoo and Mingyu, who had been watching the entire scene unfold with wide eyes. He was unsure as to what was going on; why were his hyungs having some sort of pissing match? Did Seungcheol hyung and Jeonghan hyung do something to his Jisoo hyung? Did they have a fight? Is that why Jisoo hyung seemed down before?

Meanwhile, Jisoo flushed with irritation, snapping, “Why do you get to decide what we do? If I wanna stay here and hang with Mingyu, then I will. You can tell me whatever was so important later.” With a huff, Jisoo stared his leader boyfriend down, who seemed taken aback by Jisoo’s indignant attitude towards him. Seungcheol didn’t understand why Jisoo was acting this way towards them; they had just gotten home and he was already upset. Instead of being concerned like Jeonghan was, however, he became agitated. He didn’t see what he had done wrong, what he had done to make Jisoo feel the way he was feeling, which caused him to snap.

“Yah, Hong Jisoo. I’m telling you right now to come with me.” Seungcheol said in a dead-serious voice. The tone he spoke in was one he used with he members when they had dome something seriously wrong; it was a tone that he hardly ever used, after the members had expressed their fear of Seungcheol when he spoke to them like that. After that, Seungcheol had promised them not to speak like that to them ever again, not wanting to cause his babies to be afraid of him. It’s why it caught Jisoo so off-guard; why was his own boyfriend speaking to him like that? Seungcheol had vowed never to speak that way to the members again, but he was okay speaking like that to his boyfriends?

‘No not his boyfriends, plural,’ he thought numbly, ‘He would never talk to Jeonghan like that. Just me.’ He felt blank, like all his thoughts were gone. He didn’t understand why Seungcheol was acting the way he was to him, and why Jeonghan wasn’t stopping him. No, Jeonghan was just staring wide-eyed between the two. No one was stopping Seungcheol from talking to him like-

“Hyung! What’s wrong with you?” Mingyu asked, stepping forward and slightly shielding Jisoo with his body. The sudden outrage from Mingyu caught all of them off-guard, the three lovers almost forgetting the other was even in the room. The youngest continued, “You shouldn’t speak like that to hyung! It’s scary, you’ll scare him…” Trailing off, Mingyu looked at his leader with confused, sad eyes. He couldn’t understand why their leader would speak so roughly with his Jisoo hyung. Hyung was so nice and gentle, he didn’t deserve that! Just one glance at his face after Seungcheol had growled at him and Mingyu could tell that Jisoo had been shaken up by the interaction. His protective instincts flared up, as well as some deeply hidden feelings. Mingyu stood strong in front of his eldest hyung, not wanting to cower when he could see that his Jisoo hyung was frightened.

At the sight of Mingyu protecting Jisoo, Seungcheol bristled, not liking that someone else was being overly-protective of his boyfriend. Seungcheol took a step forward, as if to challenge Mingyu, only to have Jeonghan reach out and grab his arm as if to prevent any altercation from happening. At the touch of his angel, Seungcheol turned to him, seeing the worried and slightly afraid look in his eyes and realized what he had done. His eyes widened, head snapping towards Jisoo, who had a blank look on his face, seemingly not having processed what was going on around him. However, he noticed tears seemed to be gathering in his eyes, and that was all it took for Seungcheol to calm down and take a step back from the situation. Taking a deep breath, he reached down for Jeonghan’s hand, who eagerly accepted the comfort, giving his slightly older boyfriend’s hand a gentle squeeze. At the tightening feeling, Seungcheol looked back at the angel, smiling ruefully at him.

Jisoo, who had been staring at the ground through most of the tension, had looked up to see what was going on in front of him after there had been no chatter for a while. He looked up just in time to catch his eldest boyfriend seemingly calm down, just from holding Jeonghan’s hand. He watched as they smiled, albeit shakily, at each other, seeming to reassure each other. All Jisoo could do was watch them with teary eyes, feeling hurt that they were comforting each other instead of him. He was the only who just got yelled at, and they were over there making googly eyes at each other again? Did they really not care about his feelings at all in this situation? That he had not his boyfriend defending him, but Mingyu? Jisoo felt a numbing sensation take over his body, as if to shield him from feeling any more heartache. He didn’t know how much more he could take for the night.

“Shua-yah,” Jeonghan said gently, causing Jisoo to snap his head over to look at his once best friend, “Can we please talk? I know you might not want to, but we wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t important.” He said, staring into the younger’s eyes as if to implore him to listen. Jisoo, having no fight left in him, nodded his head and took a few steps forward to follow the other two. However, he was not ready for the hand that gently took his wrist, halting his steps and causing him to look at his dongsaeng with surprised eyes.

“Hyung,” Mingyu said softly, as if he was afraid of spooking the elder any more than he had been tonight, “You- you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. You can come to my room and hang out with me and Jihoon hyung if you want. I’ll always stay with you hyung.” He breathed out, looking so sincere and kind that Jisoo almost started crying right then and there. How did he get such a sweet and caring dongsaeng, he wondered.

“It’s okay, Mingyu-yah. Don’t worry, I’m fine. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Jisoo whispered to his tall baby, reaching up to gently caress his cheek. He felt so much affection for the younger in that moment, so touched that the younger seemed so worried, felt so protective of him. Jisoo couldn’t lie; it felt nice to be so cherished by someone. He hadn’t felt this way in a while.

With a small pout, Mingyu nodded and let go of his hyung’s wrist, letting him follow the other two 95 liners, who had watched the whole scene with a mix of confusion and irritation. Trailing after them, Jisoo wondered what was going to happen now. Were they about to break up with him? Yell at him some more? What had even put them in a bad mood in the first place? It seemed like they had enjoyed their date, so why were they so snappy when they walked into the apartment?

Jisoo followed the other two into Seungcheol’s bedroom, seeing them lock the door once Jisoo had walked in. Sighing, Seungcheol turned around to face Jisoo, who was wearing the same blank look he had been wearing in the kitchen. He wondered if now was even an appropriate time to have this conversation, considering what had just happened. Seungcheol knew he had to apologize for how he had acted; he felt terrible for acting so harshly towards his own boyfriend. Yet, part of him felt awkward doing so, as Jisoo had not spoken since his outburst. He couldn’t tell what he was thinking at all, which concerned Seungcheol greatly. He wanted to know what was going on in Jisoo’s head; wanted him to scream or cry or have some sort of reaction so he could know what Jisoo was feeling. Yet, Jisoo just stood there, not looking at either of them.

Feeling the tension growing, Jeonghan decided to break it, not liking seeing his boyfriends in this state. He started, “Okay, I know that with what just happened, maybe no one is in the mood to talk now. If you really don’t want to, we won’t force you, Shua. You don’t have to listen if you don’t want to,” Jeonghan said nervously, trying to gauge Jisoo’s reaction. He was incredibly worried about the younger, knowing he didn’t handle being yelled at very well. All Jeonghan wanted to do was run over to his smaller boyfriend and hug the daylights out how him, offer any comfort he could give to the boy. He only hesitated in doing so as he didn’t know if it was what Jisoo would want in this moment, seeing as he wouldn’t even make eye contact with them.

Realizing he wasn’t going to get an answer out of his American boyfriend, Jeonghan sighed before continuing, “We just wanna talk about something with you. Seungcheol and I have come to a decision about something, and we wanted to hear your opinion.”

At that, Jisoo looked up at them, incredulous. They had come to a decision about something? Something that would impact him? And they were only now asking his opinion on it? What was the point of asking his opinion if they had already made their minds up about what they were going to do?

  
Suddenly enraged again, Jisoo let out a huff, a humorless laugh escaping him before saying, “Why are you asking me something suddenly? It’s not like what I have to say matters to you two.”

The statement shocked the older pair, eyes widening and looking at Jisoo with a mix of concern and confusion. Before they had a chance to reply, however, Jisoo broke, yelling,

“You two just go off by yourselves, doing whatever you want with no consideration for me! You made a decision, a decision involving me, and didn’t think to consult me until you had already agreed on something? What, so it makes me look like the one who is causing the issue?” He spit out, all the feelings from before coming back tenfold.

“Shua, that’s not- we wouldn’t do that- how could you-“ Jeonghan stuttered out, extremely taken aback by Jisoo’s anger. In all the time he had known Jisoo, the younger rarely got upset or yelled. He was always calm and when he had an issue, he talked it out rationally. This side of Jisoo was unexpected, unexplored territory, and Jeonghan wanted to know what he had done to cause this reaction. Before he could say anything else though, Jisoo interrupted, saying,

“How could I? How could you? We’re supposed to be a relationship and yet, you two go off on your own, leaving me out! You went off on a damn date today without me, having no regards for my feelings! You have no right to be mad at me, not when you’ve been the most inconsiderate bastards to me!” He snarled at them, not able to control his emotions anymore. He had put up a brave face for so long, enduring the neglect and rejection for so long. And today, Jisoo decided enough was enough. He didn’t want this anymore, he didn’t want to feel like this anymore, he didn’t-

“Jisoo, don’t speak like that to him!” Seungcheol yelled, pulling Jeonghan away from him. The action made Jisoo laugh without humor. Of course, he was spilling his feelings, his pain, and all Seungcheol could care about was if his precious Jeonghan was getting his feelings hurt.

“Don’t speak to him like that? But you’re allowed to treat me like dirt? Allowed to yell at me in front of one of the kids, who by the way, was probably scared out of his mind? What is wrong with you, Seungcheol? I’m so tired of this, I’m so tired of you guys acting like this to me-“ He said, the tears welling up in his eyes, not able to hold back.

  
Right as he was about to pile on more of his pain, more of his feelings, is when it happened. When everything crumbled.

“If you’re so tired of us, if you have so many complaints, then why don’t you just fucking break up with us already?” Seungcheol growled at him, causing both Jisoo and Jeonghan to freeze. It seemed that the whole room had frozen, save for Seungcheol’s heavy panting. All Jisoo could do was stare at Seungcheol with wide eyes, while Jeonghan looked at him with the same expression.

Seemingly realizing what he had said, Seungcheol’s face quickly morphed from one of anger to one of shock and regret. He started to say something, of what, Jisoo wasn’t sure. His ears had begun ringing, heart pounding so loudly in them he felt like he might go deaf. He felt his body shaking a bit, the statement Seungcheol had just made physically hurting him. Not wanting to see ether of their reactions, their faces, their beings, Jisoo stormed out of the room, pushing past both men. This snapped Jeonghan out of his shock, making him run after Jisoo.

“J-Jisoo wait! Wait, no please, he-he didn’t mean that, please-“ Jeonghan tried, frantically trying to get Jisoo to turn around and face him. He couldn’t believe what had just happened. He needed to see Jisoo’s face, make sure he was okay, which in all honesty, he knew he couldn’t be after something like that. Jeonghan reached out his hands, trying to touch Jisoo, who, for the first time since he had met him, flinched at his touch. The reaction was so startling, Jeonghan’s hands just hung midair, like they forgot what they were trying to do seconds before.

“I- I need to- to go,” Jisoo stuttered out, hands shaking on the doorknob, trying to open the door and get himself out of there. He needed to go, he couldn’t do this. If he stood there any longer, he was going to break in front of them, and he couldn’t do that. He didn’t want to, not after what Seungcheol just said to him.

“Wai- wait Soo, I- I’m so fucking sorry, oh my god, wait-“ Seungcheol said, panic flooding his system. What had he done? What did he just do? What did he just say?

Not able to take any more of this, Jisoo ripped the door open, running out of the room and down the hall. Jeonghan called after him, starting to follow him out, with Seungcheol hot on his trail. All Jisoo could think about was getting away from them; he didn’t want to be anywhere near them right now. He didn’t want to be near them, he needed to get away, he needed-

Suddenly, an arm reached out and Jisoo was pulled into another room, squeaking in the process. Panic started to fill his lungs, thinking that one of his boyfriends (ex-boyfriends?) had managed to catch him. He only stopped panicking to look up when he heard,

“Shua hyung? Hyungie, are you okay?” Mingyu called out to him, gently reaching down to cup his hyung’s face, seeing the tears in his eyes and the pained expression on his face. At the sight of Mingyu, Jisoo couldn’t stop himself.

He broke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know guys, the argument we were all dreading finally happened ;-; I honestly got a little teary writing this, I hate how I painted seungcheol, he's the best boy in real life ;-;  
a lot of you are probably waiting for more answers, and I promise I will deliver on them in the upcoming chapters!! also, if you didn't see, I added another chapter to this fic, I think I'll need it seeing as how I'm planning this in my mind ;-; I hope you guys don't mind, I'm not trying to stretch it out for the fun of it, I wanna add things to the plot I feel like are necessary with the way its been going ;-;  
anyways, let me know what you think down below!! I love reading the comments about what you guys are thinking/feeling, let me know what you're going through ^-^ 
> 
> twt: littlekittenhui


	5. love comes in all shapes, sizes, and forms: sometimes, it looks like a small puppy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This wasn’t exactly how Jisoo planned for it to go down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone~ I know a lot of you have been waiting for an update, so I've been working on this!! I hope it meets your expectations, I actually really like this chapter a lot ^-^
> 
> enjoy~

____________________________

This wasn’t exactly how Jisoo planned for it to go down.

He didn’t expect to have such a traumatic breakup with his boyfriends. He’d told himself that if they were really going to break up with him, he would handle it calmly and rationally, like an adult. Jisoo didn’t want their drama causing any issues in the group, so he told himself that if the day were to come where they broke up, he wouldn’t cause a scene.

That hadn’t exactly panned out though, he thought as he sobbed into the front of Mingyu’s sweatshirt.

The younger boy was holding him tightly, albeit confused about the entire situation. All Mingyu knew was that his hyungs were fighting, and that now, his Jisoo hyung was crying, which was unacceptable! Jisoo hyung deserved to always be smiling that adorable smile of his, deserved to always be laughing brightly, deserved everything. He was confused as to what started their argument; it looked like Seungcheol hyung and Jeonghan hyung had come home angry and had just attacked Jisoo hyung out of nowhere. He had no idea what was going on between the three of them, what was causing his hyung to have this violent of a reaction, but all he knew was that he needed to take care of his sobbing hyung.

“Hyungie? Hyungie, it’s okay, I don’t know what happened, but I’m sure it’ll be aright,” Mingyu said softly, brushing Jisoo’s hair back, “Did you and the other hyungs get in a fight? I’m sure it’ll be okay, Shua hyung, Jeonghan hyung and Seungcheol hyung could never stay mad at you for long…” He tried, not knowing if his words were soothing Jisoo or not.

Meanwhile, Jisoo couldn’t seen to stop his crying. He knew he was being dramatic; that he should really stop crying into his dongsaeng’s sweatshirt. The poor puppy had no idea what was going on, and now he was being dragged into something that didn’t involve him. Jisoo knew he had to go back and talk to Seungcheol and Jeonghan, but he desperately just wanted to be comforted, wanted to be loved. He didn’t want to face the two people who had rejected him, made him feel so unloved, broke his heart. He needed someone, and despite him knowing that it was terribly advantageous of him, he looked for the comfort he craved in Mingyu.

“I- I’m sorry, Gyu, p- please, please just…” Jisoo sobbed, not being able to get the words out. It was so embarrassing, so humiliating to ask to be loved, to be cared for. He shouldn’t have to ask anyone else; this was what his boyfriends were supposed to provide. Yet, they hadn’t been, they had been leaving him so empty. Jisoo felt wrong, asking this of Mingyu, the poor boy not knowing what the situation was. Still, Jisoo couldn’t find it in himself to not be selfish; he needed this.

“Okay, okay hyung. It’s okay, Shua hyung, I got you.” Mingyu said, holding onto Jisoo tighter and rubbing his head, his back. He might not know what was really going on, but Mingyu would be damned if he didn’t make his hyung feel at least a little better. He could tell that Jisoo had been going through something recently; he noticed when the elder’s eyes didn’t sparkle as they used to, or when he didn’t joke around as much as he did previously. Mingyu had always paid attention to his Shua hyung, always wanting to look after him, despite him being older. Maybe it was just his natural instincts, since Jisoo was a foreigner and didn’t have any family in Korea. Mingyu had always been a little more protective of Minghao and Junhui than the others too, so it made sense for him to feel that same instinct with Jisoo. Yet, Mingyu knew deep down, that it wasn’t the same.

Slowly, Mingyu began to rock the older, trying to soothe him any way he could. He wasn’t the best with comforting words, always managing to butcher sweet ideas with poor word choice, but he could at least try his best. He didn’t like seeing his hyung like this. Mingyu decided to slowly shift them to the bed to sit down, hoping that it would make Jisoo relax, even a little bit. For once, he thanked god that Jihoon was a workaholic and would be in the studio until late, so he could look after Jisoo. Once sitting, Mingyu shifted Jisoo so he wouldn’t suffocate in his sweatshirt; instead, shifting his face so it rested in the crook of his neck. Feeling the wetness on his skin was odd, as well as Jisoo’s stuttered breath, but it wasn’t about him right now; he needed to take care of his hyung.

All the while, Jisoo kept replaying what had happened in his head: Seungcheol yelling at him, scolding him as if he was a child, only defending Jeonghan. Jeonghan, only watching what was going down, not doing a damn thing. And then, Seungcheol’s deafening words:

_If you’re so tired of us, if you have so many complaints, then why don’t you just fucking break up with us already?_

Thinking back on it, Jisoo wished he could take it all back. He wanted to take back his defiant attitude, his yelling, everything. He wished he could tell Seungcheol that that wasn’t what he wanted; he didn’t want to break up. He wanted to find a solution to their problems, he wanted them to work it out like an actual couple. For once, Jisoo wanted to be a normal couple with them. He desperately wanted to explain his feelings, explain why he had been acting the way he had, and he wanted them to comfort him, to apologize, to try and find a solution that would satisfy them all. He wanted them to be happy, all together.

Now, that thought seemed impossible.

Pulling away from Mingyu, Jisoo refused to make eye contact as he sniffled and said, “I- I’m sorry, Gyu, for- for just crying on you with- without any explanation. I’m sorry, I’m bothering you so much. I- I should go, I’m sorry-“ He tried, before warm hands came down to cup his wet cheeks.

“Shua hyung, you don’t have to be sorry. I’m the one who dragged you in here, after all. I just want to make sure you’re okay. What’s going on, hyungie? Were Seungcheol hyung and Jeonghan hyung mean to you?” Mingyu asked, concern filling his voice. He tried to look into Jisoo’s eyes, but Jisoo refused to look up, not wanting to see Mingyu’s expression. He knew the younger would be so worried, looking so torn up about something that didn’t involve him, and Jisoo would feel like the worst hyung in the world. Mingyu didn’t deserve to feel worried, to be upset even if it was on someone else’s account; the younger should always be happy, wagging his imaginary tail. That was the version of Mingyu he adored most.

“It’s- it’s nothing, Mingyu-ah, I’m making a big deal out of nothing.” Jisoo said, trying to reassure his dongsaeng. He knew he should leave, he had already disturbed the younger enough for one night.

“It’s not nothing, hyung, especially if it’s making you cry like that. I haven’t seen you cry since the last time you saw your mom, you don’t cry easily. So, whatever happened with Seungcheol hyung and Jeonghan hyung must’ve been really upsetting for you. You don’t have to hide it from me, hyungie. I care about you loads, I don’t want you being sad. You shouldn’t invalidate your feelings, hyung.” Mingyu said gently, using his thumbs to wipe the tears that continuously slid down Jisoo’s cheeks. At Mingyu’s last statement, Jisoo was temporarily stunned. How had Mingyu figured that? Did the younger know what was actually going on? Did he know that the three eldest were in a relationship?

“Mingyu…” Jisoo said slowly, waiting for Mingyu to make a noise of acknowledgement, “how- how much do you know?” He asked quietly, wondering if the younger really did know what was going on. He wouldn’t put it past Mingyu to have figured it out; the boy was deceptively smart and incredibly observant, Just because he was handsome, people assumed he was an airhead, when that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Jisoo had always felt proud seeing Mingyu shock people with the knowledge he had, admiring his tall dongsaeng.

However, at the question, Mingyu looked positively confused, responding, “Know what, hyung? Do I know what’s going on? I know that you and the other hyungs are fighting, but I don’t really know why. I could hear you guys yelling, but I couldn’t make out what you were saying…” He said, head tilted to the side like a confused puppy. At times like these, Mingyu looked so young, so much younger than he actually was. He was so innocent, so obedient and unquestioning of his hyungs. It was precious.

“Mingyu-yah… if hyung tells you something, can you promise to keep it a secret? And can you promise not to freak out too much? I know it might be shocking, but I really…” Jisoo said, nervous about telling Mingyu the truth. He knew that Mingyu wouldn’t judge their relationship, deep down, but he couldn’t help but feel anxious about telling the younger. He had kept it a secret for so long, not letting anyone know how he felt for the other members of 95-line. Yet, he felt like he owed Mingyu in a way, that he needed to tell him, not only for his sake, but his own. He needed to vent, to tell someone what had been going on, if only to validate that it was real.

“Of course hyung, you can tell me anything. I’ll try my best not to freak out, but you seem worried, which is making me a little worried too…” Mingyu said, wondering what was going to come out of Jisoo’s mouth. Gently, Jisoo reached over and clasped Mingyu’s hands in his, giving them a reassuring squeeze before starting. He told him everything; from when the other two had asked him out, to their sudden shutout of the younger, to their fight, to their breakup. He told Mingyu how he had been feeling, how awful it felt being left out, how empty he felt seeing them be affectionate with each other, how deafening the silence had been when Seungcheol had said the fatal words that had led them to this moment. He explained everything with a wavering voice, teary eyes, and shaky hands.

Finally, when he finished, he took a few deep breaths to calm himself down, before risking a gaze at Mingyu’s face. He needed to know what the younger was thinking, if he was disgusted by the whole thing. Yet, when he looked up, all he was a sort of blankness on the taller’s face.

“Mingyu..?” Jisoo said softly, breaking the younger out of his thoughts, “Are- are you alright? Can- can you please say something, anything…” Jisoo began to loosen his grip on Mingyu’s hands, afraid that he had not reacted well to what he had been told. At the feeling of Jisoo’s hands going slack around his, Mingyu pulled his hands out of Jisoo’s, only to grab them and hold them tightly to his chest before saying,

“You- you went through all that by yourself? You didn’t tell anyone how much you were struggling, how upset and hurt you were? Hyungie suffered alone like that?” Mingyu said, voice breaking a bit in the middle. At the sound of the voice crack, Jisoo’s eyes snapped up to Mingyu’s face, seeing the unshed tears in his pretty eyes. Panicked, Jisoo ripped his hands out of Mingyu’s hold, instead reaching up to rub underneath the younger’s eyes to soothe him. Jisoo began cooing at him, trying to coax him out of crying, to reassure him that nothing was his fault, that it was all fine. However, Mingyu was quick to shake his head replying,

“It’s not fair, hyung! They had each other, and you… you had no one. Not even us. It’s not fair hyung…” Mingyu mumbled sadly, making Jisoo coo at him and pat his head. Leave it to Mingyu to be so sympathetic, so sweet and open. He knew that the taller would be like this, yet it still melted his heart to see him so vulnerable.

“Mingyu, it’s not your fault. I know it’s not fair, but it’s what happened. I don’t know what’s going to happen now, but… I know it’ll be okay. You know why?” He asked, continuing when he saw Mingyu shake his head, “Because I know I’ll have you by my side from now on.” He said softly, petting his dongsaeng’s cheek.

Suddenly, it was too much for Mingyu. The feelings, the comfort, what Seungcheol hyung and Jeonghan hyung had done, Jisoo’s statement. He couldn’t keep himself from saying it.

“Hyung, I like you.”

“Hm?” Jisoo said, looking at the younger with a hint of a smile at the sudden confession, “I like you too, Gyu, you’re so cute-“

“No, hyung, not like that,” Mingyu cut him off, making Jisoo look at him with wide eyes, “I… I like you, a lot hyung. I’ve always liked hyung a lot, but I knew that you didn’t like me the same way. I didn’t want to mess anything up, so I just… I never said anything. But now, knowing everything that happened, I don’t care about that anymore. I like you Shua hyung, a lot. I- I could take care of you a lot better than Seungcheol hyung or Jeonghan hyung ever could. I would treat you properly hyung, I wouldn’t hide you from the others or leave you alone. I’ll always be by your side, hyung. I… I really like you, Jisoo.” Mingyu breathed out, not looking at Jisoo’s face.

The sudden confession made Jisoo’s head spin. He had never noticed the younger had feelings for him; how could he, when he had only ever looked at Jeonghan and Seungcheol? Was that why the younger always seemed to know what Jisoo was going through? Had he been paying attention to him this whole time?

Jisoo felt conflicted; he had no idea how he should respond to the confession. He didn’t want to hurt the younger, or their relationship. He loved Mingyu; he thought the younger was the perfect man. He was so sweet, so caring, so gentle. He was always so kind to him and looked out for him. He didn’t doubt any of the promises the younger made to him; Jisoo knew that Mingyu would always be there for him, by his side. That he would always make him feel loved.

“Mingyu-yah…” Jisoo called out, ducking down to catch Mingyu’s eyes, which the younger tried to keep hidden, “Mingyu, look at me, so I can give you a proper answer.” At that, Mingyu reluctantly looked up, a slight pout on his face. Jisoo smiled at him softly before continuing,

“Mingyu, thank you. For always being there for me, for always making me laugh, for cooking for me, for always caring about me and for listening to me and comforting me. Thank you for telling me about your feelings. I truly cherish you. You’re someone I love to a fault, I will always love you. You’re my precious dongsaeng, my little puppy,” He said, reaching out to gently caress Mingyu’s cheek, “But, I don’t think the love I feel is the same as yours. At least, not right now. I’ve never thought of you that way, my minds always been somewhere else. And, I’m sure I could come to love you that way, but… I don’t think that would be right for either of us. You deserve someone better than me, someone who can give you back what you put out. You give off so much love, so much warmth, you need someone who will take care of you twice as much. I don’t know if it can be me, Gyu-yah, but I don’t want to give you hopes to only not feel the same. You will always be precious to me, someone I love and cherish. I’m sorry, Mingyu.” Jisoo said softly, brushing back a strand of Mingyu’s hair that had fallen in his face.

Mingyu looked back at Jisoo with warm eyes, before smiling at him and saying, “I know hyung. I’ve always known. I didn’t confess to you to make you my boyfriend. I just wanted you to know that there’s someone out there who loves you wholeheartedly, and that you deserve someone who is willing to put themselves out there for you. You deserve someone who will be there for you, and who will cherish you properly. It doesn’t have to be me, hyung, but I want you to remember that there’s someone who loves you. There’s someone who would go to the ends of the earth for you.” He whispered, smiling warmly at his hyung.

At the sudden statement, Jisoo couldn’t help but let a few tears slip down his cheeks. He let out a wet chuckle, before hugging the younger again. Leave it to Mingyu to confess for not his sake, but for Jisoo’s. To give Jisoo some reassurance, some peace of mind. Jisoo couldn’t help but love the boy in his arms, couldn’t help but want to keep him by his side forever. It wasn’t that type of love, but it was something more pure, more gentle and calming.

Pulling back, Jisoo asked jokingly, “How are you so perfect? No one on this planet deserves you, me especially.”

Mingyu just giggled before replying, “Do you feel better, hyung?”

Taking a deep breath, Jisoo realized a weight had been lifted ff his shoulders. By telling Mingyu everything, saying his feelings aloud and voicing his opinions, by hearing how loved he was, Jisoo felt freed from a burdenhe had been carrying around. He felt at peace, like his mind and spirit were calmer than they had been in a long time.

“Yeah, Gyu, I feel a lot better, thanks to you,” Jisoo answered, patting the giant’s head, “I owe you. Thank you, for being the best dongsaeng I could ever dream of having.” He said, carding his hand though Mingyu’s locks. Mingyu just smiled at him before hugging his waist again, making the elder giggle at him.

Suddenly, a knock broke them out of their tranquil atmosphere.

“Shua? Are you in there, Shua-yah…? Is- is it okay if we talk? I- I know you probably don’t want to, but…” Jeonghan said softly from the other side of the door, his voice shaky and raw. Another voice called out to him too, saying,

“Shua… I- I know you definitely don’t want to talk to me or even see me right now, but please… please just….” Seungcheol whispered, sounding defeated and empty. Just their voices caused Jisoo’s heart to ache. Even if he was mad at them, hurt by them, he couldn’t stop the pull they had on his heart. He still cared for them so much, despite the wounds they had given him.

Jisoo looked at Mingyu, who gave Jisoo a small smile before saying, “It’s your choice, hyung. Whatever you want.” Jisoo couldn’t help but chuckle at the younger’s declaration, knowing that if he wanted, Mingyu would let him hide out in his room for the night and would protect him from the other two.

Yet, he knew what Jisoo was going to do the second the other two had called out for him.

“Thank you, Mingyu. Sincerely, for everything.” Jisoo said, patting Mingyu’s head one more time before making his way towards the door. He turned back around, giving Mingyu one last glance and Mingyu giving him a thumbs up, before turning back towards the door and taking a deep breath.

‘I can do this.’ Jisoo thought, reassuring himself. He felt a lot better, a lot more free and open. He knew what he had to do now.

Slowly, Jisoo unlocked the door and opened it, facing the two people he had been dreading to see up until a few moments ago. His two ex-lovers looked like a mess, eyes red and swollen. It made Jisoo’s heart clench, but he made sure to keep a straight face as he saw theirs change to one of surprise.

“Okay,” Jisoo said, keeping his head held high, “Let’s talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so we got the confession!! it was a long time coming, but I hope you guys now understand why I did it like this and why I added mingyu's love for shua in the story; it wasn't for a love rival, it was so jisoo could find strength and could realize his worth, that there was someone who loved him and would go to the moon and back for him, even if it wasn't cheol or jeonghan ^-^  
mingyu's love for him gives him strength and helps free him of his worries and anxieties!!  
I know, poor mingyu, I felt really bad not giving him a love interest, but I don't see it as a sad ending for him; he wants shua to be happy and loved, and the two of them have a special relationship, it just isn't romantic because I don't think all love interest has to be  
NOW for the talk!! I'm just as worried as y'all lmao let's see what happens~  
as always, leave any comments and criticisms below, and I really mean that!! if you have any critiques for me, please let me know ^-^
> 
> twt: littlekittenhui


	6. after heavy rainfall, fresh air is what saves you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To say it was awkward would be an understatement, to say the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone~ I'm back with the next update!! this took me forever and a half to write, so I hope you guys like it ;-;  
finally, it's them talking about their feeling!! woo!!  
this is a really long one, so take a seat, relax, eat a snack, and get ready~
> 
> enjoy ^-^

________________________________

To say it was awkward would be an understatement. 

The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. On one side of the room stood Jisoo, and on the other was Seungcheol and Jeonghan. However, unlike their previous encounter, Jisoo was not the one who looked uncertain or worried; now it was Jeonghan and Seungcheol’s turn. Jisoo had confidently led them into his room, wanting to show that he was okay. Yes, he was hurt, and he wanted them to know that, but with his newfound confidence, he wanted to guide the conversation they were about to have, no matter how painful it was.

“So,” Jisoo started, making Seungcheol and Jeonghan snap their heads to look at the youngest, “I think we need to talk about what happened before. I need to get some stuff out, so you two just have to listen, okay?” Looking at the two others, Jisoo waited for their confirmation.

“Shua, I-“ Seungcheol started, apology on the tip of his tongue. However, he was cut off by the younger, who started,

“No, Seungcheol. Let me go first, please.” He asked, needing to say his piece before anything else went down. Jisoo needed to tell them everything, from the beginning, so they would understand. He needed to get it all out before they could apologize, so he wouldn’t just take them back immediately and let his hurt stay with them. No, he needed this, needed to let them know just how much they had hurt him. He didn’t want to tell them to hurt them, despite knowing it would; Jisoo never wanted to hurt the elders. He loved them so much, but he needed them to know so they could have everything out in the air and they could decide what the best step for the three of them would be.

“Okay Shua-yah, you first.” Jeonghan said softly, smiling softly at Jisoo, who returned the look with a smile of his own. Jisoo looked over at Seungcheol next, who nodded, but refused to make eye contact with the American. He knew that the eldest was probably feeling guilty and didn’t want to upset Jisoo anymore than he already had.

Taking a deep breath, Jisoo started, “So, I know a lot has happened tonight. I know that you guys probably think that everything that went down tonight was sudden, that it was an avalanche of information and an explosion out of nowhere. But, it wasn’t for me. It’s been building up inside of me, for months now. I know you guys don’t see it because I don’t tell you, but I’ve been having a hard time with our relationship for a while now. You both asked me to be with you, and I was so happy. I loved the two of you for so long, and to be included in your relationship made me so happy. You both were so kind to me, so gentle and caring in the beginning. I didn’t see how it could go wrong. We all were so happy together; at least, I would like to think that.”

“But then, it changed suddenly, and I didn’t know why,” Jisoo whispered out, before clearing his throat and talking in a stronger voice, “You guys grew distant from me, leaving me out and not really paying attention to me. You both sometimes seemed… annoyed that I was around, asking for your attention and affection. I didn’t know what happened, I didn’t know why you guys changed and didn’t seem to want me anymore. I was hurt, so hurt, but I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t talk to either of you, and I couldn’t talk to anyone in the group since they didn’t know we were together. I was suffering alone, and it was so painful. I tried to not let it get to me, but seeing you guys act all lovey-dovey with each other in front of everyone and then not even seeking me out, it hurt. You two had each other, and I had no one. And then… today happened.”

Sighing, Jisoo took a few seconds to regain his composure. He didn’t want to cry now, he needed to get his point across and explain himself so they would understand. Looking at his two ex-lovers, Jisoo powered through, “You guys went on a date without me. I don’t know if that was your intention, but that’s how it looked to me. I even asked if I could come, and you both rejected me. I was so worried, so sick that maybe this was the sign that you were going to break up with me. I thought that you went so you could talk about how to do it and still be together. I didn’t know what to do while you guys were out together, so I went to hang out with Mingyu. I was trying to take my mind off of it, but then you sent that photo in the group chat. Did you think of me at all when you sent it? Did you think about how hurt I’d be seeing my two boyfriends on a date without me? I had to stop myself from crying at the kitchen table so Mingyu wouldn’t worry.”

At that, the two looked like they wanted to jump, whether to defend themselves or to apologize, Jisoo wasn’t sure, but he held up a hand to stop them from speaking. Seeing the look on Jisoo’s face, they both decided to hold off from speaking, letting him continue.

“Mingyu was helping me take my mind off of what had happened when you guys came home in a bad mood. I don’t know what happened, but you two were so… so angry when you came in. You both seemed so unhappy, I was worried something happened when you were out. But I couldn’t even ask because you immediately started getting aggressive with me and Mingyu, yelling at us and being so forceful. And yeah, my reaction probably didn’t help, but what did you expect? I was the one who got left behind and now you two were ganging up on me and yelling at me. I was angry, I’ll admit it. I didn’t wanna listen to anything you had to say and I didn’t want to be compliant with you anymore. I wanted to give you a hard time, for once. But I wasn’t expecting you to talk to me like that, Seungcheol. And I wasn’t expecting you to let him, Jeonghan.” Jisoo said, voice breaking slightly. He was unable to stop the few tears from slipping out of his eyes, recalling the event that had taken place a few hours prior.

Seeing tears fall from Jisoo’s eyes, Jeonghan took a step forward to comfort him. All he wanted to do was take Jisoo in his arms and apologize over and over again. Hearing what his lover had said so far was tearing him up inside; he felt awful for the pain he had unknowingly been putting Jisoo through. He wanted to do something, anything to make it up to the younger. Jeonghan desperately wanted to comfort him, explain himself and Seungcheol’s behavior to him, but kept his words to himself; he knew it wasn’t his turn to speak yet. Yet, he couldn’t help but move forward to try and give his boyfriend comfort when he cried.

Seeing Jeonghan step forward, Jisoo almost took a step back, not wanting to give into his boyfriend so easily. He wanted to give him a hard time, admittedly, and he had fully intended to not let either of them touch him so easily. Yet, despite himself, Jisoo couldn’t help but crave the warmth Jeonghan gave him. He stood in place, closing his eyes as he felt Jeonghan rub the skin under Jisoo’s eyes, wiping away the tears that had gathered there. Jisoo could feel Jeonghan’s hand trembling slightly and it made his heart ache; he didn’t like seeing the prankster so uncertain, so scared. He knew that it was him that was causing that feeling in the elder and it made him feel guilty, but he knew he had to finish his thoughts or they would never be able to move on.

Opening his eyes, Jisoo smiled at Jeonghan, who returned the gesture and took a step back. All the while, Seungcheol had not moved from his spot, nor had he seemed to have looked up. His eyes were trained on the carpet underneath Jisoo’s feet. Sighing softly, Jisoo continued,

“I was spiraling when we went into Seungcheol’s room. I was so worried, so stressed out, I felt nauseous. I was scared, too,” Jisoo breathed out, causing Seungcheol to finally lift his gaze, before quickly looking back down, looking sadder than before, “I didn’t want to fight like that. I had hoped that maybe I was imagining it all, that it wasn’t really happening. But then, we started arguing more, and it felt like you guys weren’t actually listening to me, and I was getting more and more frustrated. And I know you guys were too, I get that. None of us were actually hearing the other, we were just saying what we wanted to. My heart was breaking the entire time, I just wanted it to stop. And then, when you said we should break up, Seungcheol, it really felt like my heart had cracked…”  
Jisoo closed his eyes, not able to look at the two for the next part, nor able to stop the tears from cascading down his cheeks, “I just, that wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want to break up, I wanted to work it out. I wanted us to act like an actual couple for once, and I know that maybe that sounds harsh, but it’s always you two as a couple and me as an add on appendage to you. I just… I wanted us to make it work, and I wanted you guys to want to make it work. I didn’t want to break up… Even though I was so hurt and so sad, I never wanted that… I felt- I felt so unloved when you said that.” Jisoo said brokenly, small sobs escaping.

Suddenly, strong arms engulfed him in a hug and he was being pressed against someone’s shoulder. He heard the person holding him sob slightly, their body shaking with every sob escaping them. Jisoo turned his head, trying to see who it was through his watery eyes, and was slightly stunned to see it was Seungcheol. His tough, strong boyfriend was currently holding Jisoo so tightly, like he was afraid he would disappear, and sobbing into his hair. Jisoo knew that the eldest could be emotional, and that he was really a giant teddy bear more than anything, but seeing such a sudden display of emotion caused Jisoo to be awestruck. He didn’t expect Seungcheol to have this type of reaction, not because he wouldn’t feel bad, but rather, he usually tried to be the more stoic one out of the three when they had discussions.

“Seungcheol-“ Jisoo tried, shifting in the taller’s hold to try and talk to him, only to be cut off by Seungcheol’s frantic voice,

“I’m- I’m so sorry, Shua. I’m so sorry, I didn’t- I didn’t mean to do all of that to you. I’m so sorry. I should never have talked to you like that, never should have yelled at you. I was wrong, so wrong about everything. I didn’t look out for you like I should have, didn’t cherish you the way I should have. I did so many wrong things, said so many wrong things. I was the worst boyfriend anyone could have imagined. But-“ He cut himself off, a few wet sobs coming out instead of words, “But please- please don’t think I didn’t love you. That we didn’t love you. God, that- that’s the farthest from the truth. We both love you so deeply, so so so deeply. I love you, I love you, I love you…” Seungcheol whispered, the mantra repeating over and over again. Seungcheol gripped Jisoo tighter, seemingly afraid that Jisoo would rip himself out of the hold at the confession.

“Seungcheol. Seungcheol-ah,” Jisoo said softly, “Look at me, look at me, Cheol-ah.” At the petname, Seungcheol tore away his face from where it was buried in the younger’s hair and looked Jisoo in the eyes, who said, “I’m not gonna say it’s okay, because it’s not. But I will say that I’m not mad anymore, not really. I just want answers now, I want to work it out now. Will you work it out with me, Cheol-ah?”

Hearing Jisoo’s gentle voice, seeing his sweet face, Seungcheol couldn’t help but sob harder. He _knew_ he was undeserving of this, unworthy of Jisoo’s kindness and gentle heart, yet he craved it so badly. Just seeing Jisoo’s soft face, his gentle smile, his kind words all directed at him was more than Seungcheol _ever_ deserved.

“Yes, Shua-yah. I want to- I want to work it out.” Seungcheol replied softly.

Loosening his grip, Seungcheol let Jisoo take a step back, but not completely out of his arms. Jisoo looked at Seungcheol, regarding him before offering him a gentle smile and looking over at their other lover, who had been watching the entire thing while crying on his own. Seeing Jeonghan cry by himself pained Jisoo, to the point where he would do anything to make their angel stop crying. Reaching out an arm, Jisoo held his hand out, before asking,

“Do you want to work it out too, Hannie?”

At that, Jeonghan let out a wet hiccup before nodding, closing the distance between the the two and hugging Jisoo tightly, mumbling soft apologies into his neck. Jisoo just wrapped his arms around Jeonghan’s waist, before he felt Seungcheol engulf them both in a bear hug. At that, Jisoo let out a few wet giggles, causing the other two to chuckle a bit as well.

After a few minutes they decided to let go and take a few deep breathes, grounding themselves and reminding themselves of the situation at hand. Yes, they had confirmed that they all wanted to work it out, wanted to work their relationship out, but they still had a lot to talk about. They weren’t even sure if this meant they would still stay together; that was up to Jisoo, at this point.

“So…” Jisoo started, feeling a bit awkward, “I just- I have some questions. I need to know some things, in order to come to terms with everything that’s happened. I need some answers so I can move on, so we can move forward together.” The elder boys nodded, gesturing Jisoo to ask whatever it was that he needed to know.

“I just- why did you guys start ignoring me? Did you- did you regret asking me to be involved?” Jisoo asked, insecurity bleeding into his voice. Of all the things that he wanted to ask, this was the most prominent question in his mind. It was a question he needed answered if he wanted to be able to continue this relationship, to pick up the pieces of his heart and mend them back together.

“Jisoo-yah, it’s- it was never like that. I promise, we weren’t doing that intentionally. We weren’t trying to leave you out, we just…” Jeonghan trailed off, unsure of how to explain their situation.

Seungcheol picked up where Jeonghan left off, continuing where the younger had left off, sounding defeated, “We weren’t trying to leave you out purposefully. In all honesty, we were being paranoid. We thought we were being too much with you in the beginning and that you wanted space. Do you remember our third date?” Seungcheol asked, causing Jisoo to nod his head, albeit confused by the sudden question.

“On our third date, I guess we were being too touchy with you… and you kept shrugging us off and you seemed uncomfortable, which is totally fine, that’s not your fault, but it just seemed like maybe we had come on too strong. And we got worried that maybe we overwhelmed you when we asked and we pressured you and we just… we were worried that maybe you didn’t want this. But instead of asking like good boyfriends, we assumed and we made a huge mess. We wanted to give you space, so you could get used to this. Neither of us realized that we were instead just distancing ourselves from you and making you feel anxious about the whole thing. I swear, Jisoo, that was never our intention. We thought- no, that’s not right, it was me, I thought that you would come to us when you were ready. I thought that you needed some breathing room and when you were finally comfortable, you would come to us and we would be able to act with you the way we act with each other.” Seungcheol finished, looking beaten, like he couldn’t believe that was what had actually happened.

At the onslaught of information, Jisoo was puzzled. He stood for a minute, blinking at them and trying to process all the details Seungcheol had just divulged to him. In the end, Jisoo could only ask, “If- if you thought I regretted it, that I didn’t wanna actually be together and only got peer pressured into it, then why didn’t you just break up with me?”

  
Seungcheol just smiled ruefully at that, answering simply, “Because we didn’t want to let you go; we wanted to make you love us too, if we could.”

Jisoo just stared at the leader, at a loss for words. He looked over at Jeonghan, who was sheepishly nodding, before adding, “We thought that, even if you didn’t love us now, maybe you could fall in love with us. I know it sounds terrible, and we felt guilty about it too, but we were hoping that even if you felt pressured, that you would be willing to stick around and try to love us back…”

Jisoo looked back and forth between the two, trying to gauge them and see if they were actually being serious, before bursting into peals of laughter. Seungcheol and Jeonghan stared at the younger, shocked by his reaction, as Jisoo continued to laugh, unable to stop himself.

In between giggles, he said, “You two are so- so stupid, oh my god. You never realized?” Giggling harder, Jisoo bent forward, unable to keep himself upright.

“Realized what? Why are you laughing?” Jeonghan asked, confused.

“That- that I was madly in love with the both of you since we were trainees?” Jisoo answered, still out of breath from his laughing fit. At the sudden confession, his two lovers stared at him with wide eyes.

Spluttering, Jeonghan asked, “What- what are you talking about? You- you never- stop laughing! You- you never said anything! You didn’t even give me any hints that you were _gay_!”

“I didn’t think I had to spell it out for you; plus, I didn’t think you were interested.” Jisoo replied honestly, laughter dying down.

“You were… in love with us? Me too? Back then, even _me_?” Seungcheol asked, doe eyes even bigger than usual. Hearing the disbelief and hope in his voice hurt Jisoo’s heart, not realizing not only did they not make him feel loved, but he hadn’t done a good job in making his boyfriends feel loved back.

Cradling Seungcheol’s cheek, Jisoo smiled as he spoke, “Yes, Cheol-ah, I was in love with you too, back then. How could I not be? You took care of me even though we were the same age. You were always looking after me, making sure no one messed with me and that I was adapting well to Korea. I fell in love with you back then for the same reason I loved you up until now.”

The heartwarming words caused a few tears to slip down Seungcheol’s cheek, before he smiled a gummy smile at Jisoo. The sight caused Jisoo’s heart to melt, loving seeing the eldest happy. He then looked at Jeonghan and said, “I loved you from the beginning, you know. From the first day we met, I was so happy that we were always together. It made us a package deal, and I loved belonging with you. You always played with me, helped me out at lessons, you made me feel like I belonged. I loved you too, Hannie.”

Jeonghan just smiled, reaching out for Jisoo’s hand and taking it in his own, before pressing a gentle kiss to the back of it. Jeonghan stared into Jisoo’s eyes, before telling him,

“I’ve been in love with you since then too. Since you came in right after me, you looked so scared, so out of place. I knew I wanted to be with you, wanted to make you feel safe. And the more I got to know you, I realized I didn’t want to be without you. It made me wonder how I had ever gone in life without you. You were so refreshing, so different. I was in love with you from the beginning too, Jisoo-yah.”

Before Jisoo could respond, Seungcheol piped up, “Me too. When I saw you, my heart was pulled towards you. You and Jeonghan were so cute, so nervous. But unlike Jeonghan, who was loud from the beginning, you were shy and sweet. I wanted to take care of you, help you grow and feel comfortable. I just… I felt so happy when you smiled at me, or ran to me when you needed help with something. I loved you from all the way back then… I’m sorry I didn’t do a good job in expressing it.”

Jisoo looked at him before sighing, “None of us did. We all assumed the other knew and we hurt each other. I thought that I was annoying you guys and that you didn’t want the others to know because you thought it would be easier to break up if they didn’t know. I was hurt by that, and by the way you were lovey-dovey in places I couldn’t be with you, like in the house in front of the others or at fansigns. I was really insecure about it all."

“We’re sorry, Shua, we really are,” Jeonghan whispered, “We never meant for all of this. We thought that you might feel more comfortable if no one else knew. We were scared, honestly, that you would get spooked off if they knew. We thought we were protecting you, but instead we were suffocating you. We didn’t think about your feelings, and that was so wrong of us. We left you alone, I left you alone, and I am incredibly sorry for that.”

“I know, Hannie, I know. I- I have one more question, if that’s okay,” Jisoo said, to which the other two nodded, “What did you go out for? And why were you so mad when you came back?” Jisoo had had that question lingering in the back of his mind for a while, still unknowing as to what set his boyfriends off.

“We went out because we wanted to talk about bringing up our worries with you, actually. I was getting impatient, honestly, and I wanted to ask you if you were uncomfortable with us, so I thought we should discuss it before we brought it up to you,” Seungcheol told him, “As for why we were angry…”

He sighed before continuing, “We were jealous.”

At that, Jisoo looked at him with shock and confusion written all over his face, “_Jealous?_ Of what?” He asked, not following.

“Of you and Mingyu,” Jeonghan said, ashamed, “We saw how comfortable you were with him, how adoring you were of him. We know that it’s not like that, but… we were already worried about what you were gonna say after we asked if you liked us, and seeing you in Mingyu’s arms, looking so happy…” Jeonghan trailed off.

“We were jealous. I was jealous. That’s- that’s why I got so angry. It was wrong of me, you didn’t do anything wrong. Neither you nor Mingyu deserved that, and I shouldn’t have let that happen. I’m so sorry for yelling at you, Jisoo-yah. I was wrong.” Seungcheol said softly, not looking at Jisoo.

“You… you were jealous of me and Mingyu?” Jisoo said, more to himself than to them.

“Yeah, we were. When I… when I yelled that you should break up with us, I was thinking that maybe- maybe the reason you didn’t want to be with us was because you loved Mingyu instead. You’ve always adored him, and in Mingyu’s eyes, you’re the best hyung ever, so I thought maybe…” Seungcheol mumbled.

“I didn’t mean it when I said you should break up with us, not at all, Shua. I yelled it and immediately I regretted it. I didn’t want that at all. But, if you loved someone else, then I also wanted you to be happy…” Seungcheol whispered, smiling at Jisoo with tears in his eyes.

“You fucking idiot,” Jisoo said, before pulling Seungcheol into a hug. Seungcheol yelped, not expecting the sudden affection, looking down at Jisoo with confused eyes, before Jisoo said, “I love Mingyu, yes, but not like that. I was happy, with you two. Even though there were hard times, and painful times, and lonely times, I was still happiest with you two. I never wanted to go to anyone else; it was always you idiots.”

Seungcheol sucked in a breath at that, willing himself not to cry again, “Do you- do you really mean that? You still… were happiest with us? Even after everything?”

“Yes,” Jisoo responded, pulling Jeonghan into his arms too, “I was _happiest_ with you guys.”

Suddenly, everything felt a bit lighter. All three lovers felt lighter after their confessions, after telling each other everything that had been bothering them, everything that had been bottled up. They all got out all the issues that they had had with each other. Now, there was only one thing left.

“So,” Jeonghan said, breaking the tranquil atmosphere they had, “Where does that leave us?”

Pondering the idea, Jisoo thought for a minute before looking at the two seriously, “I think that we can’t just act like nothing happened. There’s still some hurt lingering between all of us that we can’t just ignore. I think… we need healing time. I still have some wounds that I haven’t recovered from, and I think you guys do too. I’m not angry, but I need time. We need to rebuild this relationship if we want it to work. I can’t be with you guys right away, it would feel too forced, like you were trying to make it up to me as an apology. We need some time apart.”

“I… I want to fall in love with both of you again. I would like the chance to fall in love with both of you, properly.” Jisoo said gently, looking at the elder two to gauge their reactions.

Slowly, smiles began to take over their faces, before Seungcheol agreed, “Okay Shua. I think that’s fair, since you were the most hurt out of us. You’re right, we can’t just pretend like this didn’t happen, but we can grow from it and use it to make our relationship better. I promise that I’ll try my best to become a better boyfriend, a better person, for you and Jeonghan. No more assumptions, no more not communicating, no more secrets. From now on, the three of us will take it slow and fall in love properly, openly, okay?”

Before Jisoo could ask what he meant by the last thing, Jeonghan answered, “We won’t keep it a secret this time, Shua-yah. You were never our dirty little secret. We want our members to know, want everyone to know that you’re ours. We love you, so wholeheartedly, Shua-yah. Let’s fall in love again, yeah?”

Tears pooling in his eyes, Jisoo gave them a watery smile, before softly replying,

“Yeah. Please bear with me, while I figure myself out. Please be patient with me. And, please fall in love with me again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT FINALLY HAPPENED THEY TALKED ABOUT IT ALL  
I hope your questions were all answered in this chapter!! I know I left a lot of it until now, so hopefully I answered everything ;-; I'm kind of dumb, so if I missed anything you were wondering about, please let me know!!  
I know a lot of you wanted seungcheol and jeonghan to not be redeemable characters so you could just be mad at them, but I thought it was important to give them reason for their actions and to not make them into bad guys, so I hope you guys understand them more now ^-^ you can still be mad, but I think we should all acknowledge them for wanting to be better  
I also didn't want a quick fix and now they're all back together, because that's not how any relationship works; I think it's important to let shua heal alone, and for them to give him the space to feel better about himself and for them to slowly work their way back into their relationship, so please understand that that's why there's no big kiss or anything like that ^-^  
anyways, please let me know what you think down below!! your comments always make my day and give me so much motivation ^-^
> 
> twt: littlekittenhui


	7. maybe three isn't so bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Healing doesn’t happen overnight, Jisoo quickly learned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone ^-^ it's finally here!! the last chapter!! I honestly don't know how I feel about it, so I'm sorry if it doesn't meet expectations, I wrote it while sick and I feel like it could be better ;-; please also keep in mind it's an epilogue, so it's a lot shorter!!
> 
> anyways, I hope you guys still enjoy~

__________________________________

Healing doesn’t happen overnight, Jisoo quickly learned.

It had been a few weeks since the whole debacle went down, and while Jisoo was definitely doing better than he was a few months ago, the trio still was walking on eggshells around each other. All three of them seemed confused by the boundaries they had set for each other, not knowing what was on and off limits. It was to the point that the other members began to notice and wonder what had happened to their eldest hyungs.

After Chan had approached Jisoo, asking if something was wrong, Jisoo knew he had to talk to his lovers to sort everything out. He called the other two to his room to discuss their relationship and to see how they planned to proceed.

“Hi, Shua,” Seungcheol breathed out, looking at Jisoo shyly, “Is everything okay?” Seungcheol and Jeonghan looked at him curiously, wondering if something had happened, if they had done something that overstepped their boundaries. While they weren’t being restricted with each other, Jeonghan and Seungcheol had decided that they would refrain from being too touchy with each other as well, as to not leave Jisoo out. They didn’t want him to feel that in the time he took to heal, they had moved on without him; they didn’t want him to feel the way he had before.

Smiling, Jisoo reached up and caressed Seungcheol’s cheek, “Everything’s fine, Cheollie. I’m good, really. I just wanted to talk about some stuff.” He looked over at Jeonghan, who smiled and held a hand out for him, which Jisoo took gladly. He loved the small gestures of affection they had been in the habit of doing recently; it warmed his heart. Continuing, Jisoo said, “Channie came to me the other day asking if something had happened between the three of us. I just think… we should stop being so careful around each other. The others are noticing and I don’t want them to worry.”

“Hey,” Jeonghan said gently, making Jisoo look over, “We can talk to them and make them understand, but I don’t want you to rush into anything you’re not ready for yet just because you don’t want the kids to worry. We can wait for you, baby, you don’t need to push yourself because of anyone else.” Jeonghan reassured, bringing their joined hands to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to the back of Jisoo’s. The action made Jisoo’s heart flutter, trying to calm his warming cheeks before answering,

“It’s not that. I’m not pushing myself, I promise. I just… I think I’m ready. To move on, to try and act like a couple with you guys. I want to be in a relationship you with two. I want to have the sappy relationship I always thought I would. I’m ready to… to fall in love with you again, Jeonghan, Seungcheol.” Jisoo breathed out, slightly shaky from the sudden confession. He was a bit nervous, not knowing how his lovers would take it. He tried to reassure himself that this was a good thing, that they would be happy that he was finally ready; yet, a small part of him still held the insecurity that it had from months ago.

Suddenly, Jisoo heard shuddered breathing, only to look up and see Seungcheol was trying to contain himself. The older boy was looking at him with hopeful eyes, before asking skeptically, “Are you sure, Shua-yah? Are you completely sure that you’re ready?”

Taking a deep breath, Jisoo closed his eyes, thinking to himself how much things had changed, how much he had changed in the past few weeks. He thought of how much happier he had been, how much lighter he felt and how much energetic he had been. He thought of the gentle and caring way Seungcheol had been looking out for him the past few weeks. He recalled how sweet and playful Jeonghan had been, like nothing had changed from their trainee days. Jisoo couldn’t help but smile at the memories, opening his eyes before answering, “Yes, I want to. I want to be together, properly now.”

Before Jisoo could even fully get out his response, he was being lifted off the ground, into a tight embrace. He let out a loud squeak as Seungcheol spun him, laughing. His head still spinning when his lover put him down, Jisoo had no time to recover before he was enclosed in another embrace. Jeonghan was squeezing him, saying small thank you’s and giggling a bit. Jisoo couldn’t help but giggle as he wrapped his arms around the prankster, pressing his cheek to his shoulder. He then felt another pair of arms wrap around the both of them, encapsulating them all. In that moment, Jisoo felt so safe, so loved and so protected. He felt incredibly loved by these two individuals, and it made his heart so full.

After the moment, the three had stayed in Jisoo’s room, just to talk and catch up. The three stayed up late, laughing and cuddling and kissing and being in love. They were finally being open with each other, not trying to hide their relationship from the others. Seungcheol had even gone out of his way to call for a team meeting to tell the members that the three of them were in a relationship, much to the shock of Jisoo.

“We told you that it wouldn’t be like last time again. We’re doing this properly now, and it’s only right that the others know that you’re ours and we’re yours.” Jeonghan had told him, rubbing his arm to try and ease Jisoo’s nerves. While Jisoo was fairly positive that the kids would be supportive, there was fear gnawing at his stomach.

“So, I know you guys must be wondering what’s going on. I’m just gonna come out and say it: Jeonghan, Jisoo, and I are in a relationship. We just wanted everyone to know so there weren’t any more secrets between us. We know it might come as a shock, and you might not know how to feel about it, and that’s fine. The three of us just thought that to work as a team, we shouldn’t hide such important things from each other.” Seungcheol told them, purposefully leaving out the drama that had happened for all of their sake. Jisoo had made it clear that he didn’t want the kids to know everything that had happened, not wanting any of them to take sides.

There was a brief silence, none of the kids seeming to know what to say, before Seokmin asked, “But weren’t you and Jeonghan-hyung already dating? When did you start dating Shua-hyung too?”

Thinking for a minute, Seungcheol replied, “We were, but the two of us have always like Joshua too. We wanted him to be with us too, we just didn’t know how to ask and that if that was even an okay thing to want or ask. We’ve been together for a little while now, but we’ve decided to make it official from today.”

The members seemed to be processing what was happening, no one really saying anything else. Jisoo began to feel nervous again, wondering if there would be any negative reactions, before an excited voice interrupted his thoughts, “I think that’s great! If you guys like each other, then there’s no issues, right?”

Looking over, Jisoo couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on his face when he saw Mingyu beaming at him. The younger seemed to have picked up on Jisoo’s anxiety and was doing everything in his power to make the elder more comfortable. Jisoo couldn’t help but feel a wave of affection come over him. It was just like Mingyu had said; he was always going to be by his side.

Jisoo had decided not to tell Seungcheol and Jeonghan of Mingyu’s confession. While he knew that it might be something the others would want to know, he also didn’t feel right spilling Mingyu’s secret. Jisoo knew that the younger would have never even had told him without the events of that night taking place. Mingyu had confessed for Jisoo’s sake, so it wasn’t his place to tell the others of the puppy’s feelings. He knew that the younger wouldn’t change the way he acted towards him; Mingyu would continue to act as clingy and adorable as he had been before his confession, and Jisoo had no plans of making him uncomfortable by letting his boyfriends know of what had happened.

After what had happened, Mingyu and Jisoo had grown even closer. Whenever Jisoo was getting overwhelmed or felt empty the way he had about his relationship, he went to the younger. Sometimes, they talked about his feelings, and other times, they just sat in each other’s company, not saying a word. It was comforting to Jisoo to have someone who understood what Jisoo was going through; someone who could just be there for him without feeling as though they needed to apologize or comfort him. Mingyu was so kind, so caring and just his aura made Jisoo feel calm.

Giggling filled the air after Mingyu’s sudden statement, courtesy of Junhui and Seungkwan. The others began to agree and congratulate the trio, wishing them a long and happy relationship. The sudden cheers made Jisoo a bit emotional, looking at his two lovers for support, only to see them tearing us as well. The three lovers were overwhelmed with the love their members gave them, blessing their relationship and well wishes. While they were fairly certain the kids wouldn’t be upset, they hadn’t expected such a warm response right away. It filled them all with warmth, so thankful that they were on a team with such open-minded and open-hearted boys. Seungcheol, the gooiest of them, yelled “group hug!”, before pulling as many of the boys into his embrace. While most of them grumbled and complained, they all joined in before laughing.

As they embraced, Jisoo looked at each of them, wondering how he got so lucky to have such good people in his life. He looked at his dongsaengs and thought about how precious they were to him, and how loving they were back. He looked at Mingyu, who had been there for him and provided him with comfort and safety when he needed it. Lastly, he looked at his lovers, who were smiling and laughing the group embrace. Jisoo was overcome with love as he looked at them, thinking about how much they had changed for him and how hard they were trying to make him feel comfortable. He was truly appreciative of all they had been doing for him and how far they were willing to go to improve their relationship. In that moment, Jisoo felt truly blessed with what he had been given.

‘I’m really lucky.’ Jisoo thought to himself.

Looking at his boys, who turned to beam at him, he chuckled to himself before agreeing,

“Yeah. Yeah, I really am lucky.” he whispered to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's finally over!! we got our happy ending ^-^ I know it's nothing grand, but this was the biggest step for them in their relationship, so I felt like it was important to show them telling the others about their relationship and member's acceptance of it  
I'm sorry if it feels incomplete or rushed, I'm currently unwell so I don't know if it's up to my usual standards ;-;  
I hope you guys still liked it, and I wanted to thank you all for coming along with me on this fic, I loved writing it and I'm truly grateful so many people enjoyed it ^-^  
I already have idea for other fics, as well as some other surprises, so stay tuned!! an idea came into my head recently that I think some of you will like ^-^ (spoiler alert: mingyu will get what he deserves!!)  
I know I also talked about writing a little spin-off about what seungcheol and jeonghan were going through during this fic, so if you guys actually want that, please let me know!!
> 
> again, thank you so much for reading/commenting/leaving kudos on this fic, it truly made me so happy ^-^
> 
> twt: littlekittenhui


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